Funny Mery

A Japanese woman was taking a bath in a sauna and wanted to find a Chinese hunk to give her a massage. The hunk suddenly became aroused while rubbing her penis and inserted her penis into her vagina. The Japanese woman was furious: What kind of work are you doing? The hunk said : Rub inside!

  In a car, a man bumped into a woman. The woman got angry and said: You can't stand on three legs! The man waved his hand and said: Forget it, I won't argue with you, you are always talking anyway.

The female leader returned home at night and was suddenly put in the car by two men. One of the men threatened: "Be honest, you are a pervert." The female leader laughed and cursed: "Damn it, such a happy thing makes you so nervous. I was scared to death, I thought I was cheated!"  

  When a couple is in love, the man always likes to say: "I'm going to kill you!" Suddenly, after not seeing each other for a few days, the woman goes to the man's work unit, and the man asks: Is something wrong? The woman said softly: "It's okay, I just don't want to live anymore..." A Japanese soldier went to the toilet one morning and looked down: he found that one of his eggs had turned green. He was very frightened. I wonder if I have done too many bad things? He heard that there was an old and famous Chinese doctor who specialized in treating difficult and complicated syndromes, so he went to see a doctor. "Doctor, what do you think is wrong with me?" The old Chinese medicine doctor looked at it carefully for a long time and said: "Based on my many years of medical experience, I have never seen such a strange disease. I'll cut it off just to be safe!" The Japanese soldier thought: I still have a cannon, so let’s cut it o...

  The director and the driver went to watch the performance together. When they arrived at the door, the security guard let the director in and stopped the driver. The driver said angrily: He and I are in the same system, let me in. The security guard also had to be unreasonable: JJ and Eggy were in the same system. If Chicken entered, Eggy would not be able to enter. driver:……

A blind couple agreed on a ML code. The man said: "Play cards." The woman said: "Start." The young man next door often heard about playing cards and thought, how can a blind man play cards? So I took a peek and saw that it was like this. One day, a young man sneaked into the blind man's house while he was out and said to the blind woman, "Play cards." The blind woman said, "Let's start." So the two had s**. The young man had great abilities, and at the climax, the blind woman repeatedly praised: "Good cards." At night, the blind man wanted to play cards with his wife again, and the blind woman said, "Didn't you play once during the day?" Upon hearing this, the blind man said again Anxious and angry, he exclaimed: "No, someone stole the sign!"

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A year later, there’s another knock at the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says, “What was that all about?”

A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh right up just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey. So the guy does it and it comes out looking real good.  Then the woman then instructs him to put a Santa Claus with "Merry Christmas" up on her left thigh. So the guy does it and it comes out looking good too.  As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist says, "If you don' t mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?"  The woman answered, "I'm sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time that there's nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."

Two economists are walking in a forest when they Come across a pile of shit. The first economist says to the other "Ill pay you $100 to eat that pile of shit." The second economist takes the $100 and eats the pile of shit. They continue walking until they come across a second pile of shit. The second economist turns to the first and says "l pay you $100 to eat that pile of shit." The first economist takes the $100 and eats a pile of shit. Walking a little more, the first economist looks at the second and says, "You know, I gave you $100 to eat shit, then you gave me back the same $100 to eat shit. can't help but feel like we both just ate shit for nothing." "That's not true", responded the second economist. "We increased the GDP by $200!"

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife. After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word he made contact, “Mary. Mary.” “Is that you, Fred?” “Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.” “What’s it like?” “Well, I get up in the morning, I have s**, I have breakfast, off to the golf course, I have sex, I bathe in the sun, and then I have sex twice. I have lunch, another romp around the golf course, then s** pretty much all afternoon. After supper, golf course again. Then have s** until late at night. The next day it starts again.” “Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven.” “Not exactly, I’m a sheep in Wales.”

A Boyfriend texts his Girlfriend saying "Hey babe you wanna come over and have s**?" Girlfriend texts back "Duh!" So the girl goes over her Boyfriends house, and right before they get into it, he sets the boundaries. "Ok, so my little brother is home, and I have bunk beds. He's on the bottom bunk. If you want it harder, you say tomato. If you want it faster, you say lettuce, and if you want to moan you say any other ingredients that would be on a sandwich." So they're up on the top bunk having sex, and she's yelling "Tomato! Tomato! Lettuce! Lettuce! Cheese! Cheese!" Well the little brother is still on the bottom bunk and yells "Hey can you guys knock it off, your getting Mayonnaise all over me!!!"